Uh-oh! SpaghettiOs!

I made an unwise decision the last time I went grocery shopping.  I decided I was going to purchase SpaghettiOs.  The decision might not seem strange to those that eat SpaghettiOs regularly or have children that enjoy the circular pasta in a can.  However, I have not had SpaghettiOs for at least a decade and during that time it has not crossed my mind to buy or eat them once.  I can only guess that my commitment to eating more vegetarian combined with my desire to have an easy to make meal drove this decision.  What's easier than open can, put contents in pot, heat pot on stove, and serve?

The first problem with buying SpaghettiOs is that it is primarily a product enjoyed by children and stoned college students.  At the age of 34, I do not fit either category.  Nor do I have my own children that I can rationalize buying the product for and then enjoy myself.  The second problem is deciding what kind of SpaghettiOs to buy.  When I reached the shelves of canned pasta products I immediately began looking for the regular variety.  In that spot on the shelf was one can so dented I was shocked its contents had not exploded out the top.  These are the types of products my former grocery store employer would put in a blind grab bag and sell to employees for a couple of bucks.

To the left of the dented can was the "with meatballs" variety.  This type goes against my desire for more vegetarian meals and I was not about to trust the processed meat product of the Campbell Soup Company (author's note - Campbell's bought Franco-American over 90 years ago and it fazed out the Franco-American label over 4 years ago).  To the right was the "shapes" variety, which is just regular SpaghettiOs shaped like cartoon characters instead of rings.  I didn't recognize the cartoon characters, but they were princesses of some sort.  I am guessing it is from some Disney creation.  There was no way I was going to eat princess shaped SpaghettiOs.  That would be creepy on many levels.

That left one variety on the shelf.  SpaghettiOs "with calcium" bothered me for a couple of reasons.  First, SpaghettiOs are in a tomato and cheese sauce.  One would think that the cheese in the sauce would provide adequate calcium.  I began to wonder about the quality of the "cheese" used to make the sauce.  Second, are kids these days getting so little calcium in their diets that there needs to be "with calcium" options for kid-friendly products?  Unfortunately, "with calcium" seemed to be my only choice if I was going to buy SpaghettiOs.

Like Ron Burgundy after he jumped into the bear pit and the last time I ordered a Filet-O-Fish, I immediately regretted the decision.  I decided to eat the SpaghettiOs right away so that I could be rid of it in my apartment.  Thus, I opened up the two cans I bought and started to heat them up on the stove.  I bought two cans because: (1) canned products are getting smaller; and (2) as an adult I felt like I could eat more than I could as a kid.  It was another poor decision on my part.  At least I ate the SpaghettiOs out of a bowl instead of out of the pot.  In an effort to make the meal more palatable, I added some salt and pepper.  That was probably one of the most useless things I have ever done.  Why should I attempt to spice up this mess?  The only thing more useless would have been to add fresh garlic, rosemary, and perhaps some shaved parmesan on top.  Extra cheese would have been pointless.  I was apparently getting extra calcium without it.

Safe to say I didn't feel good about the meal or myself afterward.  It had been over 10 years since I had SpaghettiOs, and in retrospect that was not long enough.  Let's hope the next time I cook up some in a pot it is for a child or a stoned college student.